Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Whats the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo? What do you do with epileptic lettuce? What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto - Bad Joke Eel. He goes in because he has never seen one before. "Why did you do that?! " Why do you never see a funeral procession in Mexican neighborhoods? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "No, no quiero camisas. A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE! What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it?
Her teacher told her she had to do an essay. ¿Cómo han cambiado tus padres? What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus? They only had two cars. I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer. Reply via Boardmail. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here, " said the salesgirl. Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart. They give him good case ideas. They both run jump shoot and steal. What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe to be. What is the difference between guacamole and Mexican courtrooms? The American turns around. Why do Mexicans watch Netflix? Read moreRead lessSo they have something to pick in the winter.
The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany. " How much does a pirate pay for corn? What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? Awe struck the American asked, "How could you afford all of this? What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe around. In Queso emergencies. We are really thankful to Jesus. That's Nacho business. Both crews were marooned. What's a Mexicans favorite bookstore? To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive! The American politician says, "See that road over there?
She was sitting next to him, and she was heading to a nymphomaniac convention! What do you need for a Mexican booty call? Pedro put his hand up.
"I'll be in Boston for the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention. "These sweaters are top quality, " the salesgirl probed. What is the first rule of the Mexican fight club? My Latino friend was angry I made a Mexican joke, so I said "Lets taco bout it. We'll call ourselves "Juan Direction. Read moreRead lessHe was battling His-panic attacks. I don't wanna taco bout it.
"It's ok because there are only two of us. What type of music do mummies listen to? They'll get over it. I'm not trying to boss you around just do what I say. Because it makes it a lot easier to climb over a fence.
I go to the living room to clean and your son say, 'You are in my way'. It's also a civilization entrenched in centuries of tradition. Taco about a good time. Because he felt crummy. What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe. When you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. You have at least thirty cousins. He wanted some arr and arr. Mexican actress Ana Brenda recommended that Mexican president blocks Trump at the border ("Come on, Mr. President (Mexican), make the migration joke and do not let him enter, and you will be a national hero"). I bought him a round.... Four Amigos.
"With a golf gun, " replied the second detective. NASA, the US space exploration agency, only has a budget of $19 billion. How does a lion like his meat? They always cross the line. Because they're afraid of being deported! Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? Your mowing your own grass, then a car stops to ask you how much you charge.
Now, here's where it gets fascinating: because your focus is limited, and because you have the power to shift your focus and concentrate on what matters to you…. Between the walls of our skulls, billions of neurons (brain cells) work together to shape us into the humans we are. Our thoughts create our experiences, and thus, we experience what we think. The Couragecast: What You Focus On Becomes Your Reality | Andrea Crisp on. Instead of thinking, "why would they want me? "
Love, success and joy is what you'll get. The research around it has caught fire and the findings are powerful. Your focus determines your reality. And ignore everything else. Someone who develops the belief that he's a failure, for example, will view each mistake as proof that he's not good enough. This is a perfect example of what happens when you focus on things that are not within your ability to control: misery and unhappiness. As we've seen, your focus is limited, and can be imagined as a pie chart. This is why it's so hard to make change happen!
Maybe I got lucky, but I also focused. Find other people that have already achieved what you want and consume their content, youtube videos, blog posts, if they have books read their books, all things things help you to focus consistently on what it is that you want, which is going to empower you to take massive action, and achieve what you want. The neurons that fire together, will wire and cause lasting changes in the brain. Work On Your Focus, How? Nobody asks for bad things to happen to them. If you constantly feel you cannot do certain things, take a moment to find out where this is coming from to understand the situation better. Everything you see as been called into your life by you. My then 8-year-old daughter had a school project to draw a human face. If during your preparations for the patent bar you become overwhelmed and immediately start doubting yourself, the rest of your studying probably isn't going to be very productive. Whatever you focus on becomes your reality is a. This is how your thoughts shape your reality. It's because we've repeated the thought patterns so many times that they've now become rooted in who we are: Our thought patterns reinforced our beliefs, and our beliefs came to define who we are and the reality we experience.
For example, if you're thinking, "I'll never be able to afford that, " change it to "I can achieve anything I set my mind to. But you won't miss anything if you're not on social media. We become unconscious and fear-based. Your thoughts are a catalyst for self-perpetuating cycles.
What about in this present time - how are things really looking? Share with me in the comments below! If you don't like your life right now, it's your fault. But I don't do that because I shut myself off from those things. Remember that just because you got it wrong in the past does not mean you will always get it wrong. How Your Thinking Creates Your Reality. I then went on to ask her how she came up with such an assumption of something she had never done before. Just think about that for a minute: You have incredible capacity to change your brain through your experiences.
Issac Newton, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and a host of others failed but tried again and again until they eventually achieved their goals. You are the thinker of your thoughts. If you aren't a naturally positive thinker, you can become one with a little time and effort. But the problem is that you go down a rabbit hole.
Treat it like a computer download of all the things you do want to happen. It has a lot of limitations but it's not all bad. That lack of effort prevents her from getting a promotion. Your self-concept is made up of I am beliefs about who you are presently, and I can beliefs about who you are capable of being in the future. You can actually be fully aware of this higher order of self at all times, if you are paying attention. You write the story of what you think is likely and/or possible based on what you believe is true and then you take actions consistent with those expectations. Whatever you focus on becomes your reality software. I figured this out very quickly, and consolidated my focus on the things that I could control. The end result is feeling like a victim of ourselves and our circumstances. When a negative thinking spiral starts, I know it's only temporary. As you continue to think you're a failure, you continue to feel and act in a way that reaffirms your belief. We buy, we travel, we forget—always focusing on the external factors we need to alter in order to create better circumstances. I joined Medium shortly after and it paved the way to the full-time living I make now.
Perfume is a beautiful example of thoughts that manifest into real life. What You Focus On Becomes Your Reality. You might think that positive thinking means trying to turn every situation into a positive one, but that's not exactly the case. This manifests as focusing on the things you are not happy about in your life, and obsessing over the excuses as to why they are there. Beliefs create a cognitive lens through which you interpret the events of your world and this lens serves as a selective filter through which you sift the environment for evidence that matches up with what you believe to be true. At any given time, there is an infinite number of things you can focus on.