Are there any support workers or professionals involved with your son that you can talk to? Son gone to Uni, I'm feeling bereft:(. The best course of action is to invite him to have a conversation in a neutral area, such as the living room. Its a hard place to be for you but you're his dad and he will want to see you again. 12 Learning Modules: Cover key concepts of gamer psychology, parent-child communication, and boundary-setting to create an alliance with your child. Once you limit your child's ability to build a relationship and love both parents — you are creating an unhealthy situation. Does Your Son Want Nothing to do with you? | Healthy Gamer. You have never really built a relationship with the child. Remember that, in the grand scheme of things, this is a phase that will go away, all on its own. AndySmith said: Sometimes I wondered if I'm slightly autistic like my son. I am pursuing a different matter and the process is utterly awful and arbitrary and it absolutely discourages people from using it. The child is a reflection of the aggression bottled up inside of both parents.
Do you want me to try to guess what's bothering you? ' I absolutely would not suggest that this is the right solution, it can often aggravate the situation. That response is a big step forward. Some of the most common ones are: - His performance in school is suffering. So pretty much out of the blue I get a letter from my ex wife and son saying he doesn't want to follow the court order and wants to pick and choose when he sees me. My son doesn't want to see me see. My Son no longer wishes to see his Father. Validating these emotions will make him feel understood and release much of the pent-up emotional tension in a healthy manner. I would recommend looking to some helpline services for parents that are available in your area, as you might find it to be quite helpful. I dont know if i will fully either. I think it would be really helpful for you to talk about how you are feeling with others.
It sounds like things have been very strained with your son It is proving very difficult to work out contact in a way that works for you all. Too many incidents to count of things you would not expect from anyone let alone the mother of your child. "And though he still makes us want to tear our hair out at times, that experience made me realize his behavior is normal, and something he'll eventually outgrow. " The reason I could not see them was because withholding contact was being used as a a means to cause harm and to exert a level of control over me (I was also being harassed by my ex partner at the time). Or if your usually standoffish child plops down beside you while you're watching TV, pay attention. How can you respond when you feel like the excluded parent? That is one of the major reasons why it's hard for kids to stop gaming. Even better: build predictable routines into your days or weeks where you're able to snuggle alone. Make sure there is family time also. 09-11-2020 07:32 PM. We have had mediation in the past - but usually the children attend with their mother (as I only have them at weekends) and therefore I have always felt that what the children have said hasn't always been there feels but hers (which leads back to the parental alienation). My son doesn't want to see me tonight. I am extremely disappointed by this behaviour (although it is similar to the approach his mother has always had - whenever she hasn't wanted to do something her first line is always 'I'm scared or she scares me, or you scare me' so I know my son has probably seen it work far to many times with his mother).
You blame the divorce on the child or the other parent. You make promises you can't keep. My son doesn't want to see mee. Your child isn't going to fess up if he knows he'll get into big trouble or that you might lose your temper and turn into the Incredible Hulk. My dispute is about a construction issue - we are suing over a home renovation project that went wrong - some of the confusion was propbably down to my communication skills but the main cause was the builder was a rogue trader.
I think you need to let the dust settle before you decide how to move forward. I have 2 children, a boy 7 who is high functioning autistic and a girl 4 who is suspected autistic. Once a child ha a label hey will play up to that label. He doesn't want to come down for dinner. Do chores after your toddler is asleep. Communication is exactly where the problem lies. ReachOut Parents - My son wont talk to me anymore - Parents forum. Right now the easiest way for him to cope is by not doing so. My partner doesnt want to support me and kids financially. You don't feel overwhelmed and crammed for time, and they can participate and help with household tasks. Write it out, put it on a chart, whatever works so he knows what is happening and when. Is it ok for husband to go on holiday without me and our son? Why Your Son Wants Nothing to Do With You.
Even mediators and social workers have noted that they are not fully convinced it is the children's what can I do. Moreover, if your son uses gaming to escape from his emotions, then any attempt to get him to stop gaming will result in an emotional outburst. You don't need to start off with anything drastic just something. No amount of pushing can get 10-year-old Azar Shrestha to open up when he doesn't want to. You are concerned that the stark differences between your home life and his mum's house are making this harder too. My son doesnt want to see me. I don't know if it's school or friends or something else. " Normally, I'm a fan of doing chores while the kids are awake. This stems from a pretty toxic relationship while we were together that led to a not great divorce while our son was still a baby. M used this as a tactic to reduce the already limited time I had with him. You are not cool or fun enough to hang out with. But keep natural and consistent.
Was he able to understand where you were coming from? They live 100 miles away (3 hour drive) and I would imagine she is unlikely to answer the door (more likely to phone the police and accuse me of harassment). Be careful not to force him to talk to you because that will make future attempts to talk more difficult. Suggests Cohen-Sandler. Here are the few tips that will help you understand his defensiveness and reconnect with your son: Allow Him His Space. All these signs may make you think that your son hates you. 02-24-2021 06:41 PM.
"You're expected to be your child's advocate when she's this young, " says Cohen-Sandler. I decided to negotiate and say if he would come up one weekend a month he could spend the school holidays with his mum. Any time you feel like you don't hold up that model image of parenthood feels like you've failed somehow. He told me this was making him unhappy and asked me to speak to his mum, I tried to on 3 occasions and she just refused point blank. These are just a few things I've picked up from your post. At that moment, the part of his mind that wants to protect him from negative emotion takes over. Perhaps you could stipulate that the children aren't involved in the initial stages of mediation so that discussion could be had with the mother exclusively. You tell the child the courts says you have to visit. "Instead, nod to let him know you're actively listening, or say something neutral like 'Oh, that's what's bothering you. ' So this is going to be quite hard. Just remember to let your child start the conversation—and then listen without judgment or jumping in to offer advice, Faber says. I don't want him to grow up thinking when you are expected to do something and don't want to you just run away and ignore that person. The trick is not to push too hard: If you ask a few questions to show you're interested and then stay patient, you may get answers—in 15 minutes. Layla Gafari of San Jose, CA, has tried every method she can think of to draw information from her 8-year-old daughter, Catherine, but she's still tight as a bank vault when it comes to sharing details about school.
Take care and I hope things improve. I must say whilst stressful and long winded I found the process a positive experience. Any suggestions anyone? I haven't seen him for 3 months now. Be nonsensical—idiotic, even.