Being a Stay-at-Home mom is not an all-inclusive vacation spent eating bon-bons on the couch with endless free time. We had childcare figured out before I was even pregnant, but because the household had someone working as an essential employee in the medical field, we could not continue to risk potential exposure to my daughter. 5 things that happen with matrescence. More Than Just 'Mom': Returning to Horses Made Me Feel Like Myself Aga –. Every single lesson, every afternoon I spend with Duchess is self-care for me.
I never imagined I would feel as isolated as I did, especially as a new mom. There was one thing that motivated me to continue on towards that first lesson despite my insecurities and questions, and it was the same thing that caused me to make the initial call to the barn: I knew, deep down, that I needed to ride horses again. I drifted away from friends, I quit my job, and I stopped riding horses. Both my mind and my body were stretched and exercised in a way that hadn't happened in such a long time. Jlullaby: stay at home moms. When you're on a horse, you experience trust in a way that nothing else compares to. When I became a mother, everything about me became wrapped up in my child. Contrary to what you may see on social media, there are wealthy horse girls and not-so-wealthy horse girls.
This is the thing, when you decide to stay home the vision you have in your head for how thing are going to be and how they really are, are vastly different. You, without a doubt and above anything else, deserve to be happy. A lot of SAHM make the same decision and many more moms had to work from home when covid hit. Jlullaby: stay at home mom's blog. When I heard the term "Stay-at-home mom" before I had my daughter, I envisioned a woman that was home all day with her kids doing fun activities, having fun playdates, doing some cooking and cleaning, but also having some time to herself. It's not about winning big anymore; it is about overcoming daily obstacles and celebrating little victories by just getting out there and doing what I want to do. That's when it hit me. Stay-at-home mom means a woman who doesn't work outside the home because she's raising a child or children.
In general, when you work outside the home you get to come home and be away from your job until the next workday. In a last minute effort to hide my post-baby tummy, I swapped the brand new riding shirt and belt I bought for an older, baggy shirt since I was worried about what everyone at the barn would think about the shape of my body. Photography by Mallory Hicks. I personally love the flexibility to work from home on my own time. So of course, I went into this naively thinking that it would not only solve the previously mentioned factors but would also give me more time to get things done and it would all be easier. Well, housewife doesn't imply that there are children involved. Stay-at-Home Mom Struggles. Recent Posts on the NayaCare Blog. Of course I was worried about literally squeezing into them.
If it's not that it is the literal CONSTANT interruptions that make it impossible to maintain a train of thought that lasts more than 5 minutes. Women make up such a huge part of the riding community. I am blessed to be able to be home with my daughter and watch her grow but I think there is so much about the SAHM world that can be underappreciated and so much harder than it seems from the outside. We also come in all shapes and sizes. Jlullaby: stay at home mom. They might have an extra-large in stock, but I'm left guessing how it will fit my body. It didn't help when I rolled my ankle dismounting the first time.
Motherhood gave me the gift that I treasure more than anything in the world: my son, Greyson. I feel like the SAHM title gained another layer of difficulty when Covid hit. And then comes the mom guilt. Mainly it is finding our strength as women and realizing just how much we are capable of. Why nurturing the mother will have family health benefits?
I love being there for my daughter but there are days when the fussiness and neediness can make you want to clock out of being a mom for even just an hour. But that wasn't the case. Shortly after having my daughter, I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. For probably the hundredth time, I asked myself the same question … is this even worth it? I mean it did solve the problems we were facing but I was now working for my daughter- this was a whole new level of employment for me. But I made it this far; breeches were purchased and delivered, and I had to muster up the courage to overcome this overwhelming anxiety just to put them on and (deep breath) wear them out of the house. The biggest being the fact that I had my daughter right at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic and believed the best way to keep her safe was to be home with her. I chose black, of course, in an attempt to find something slimming.
So, to my fellow new mothers out there, pick up your phone and make the call to the barn. There were other contributing factors like my job where before I left, I had some seniority and felt like a part of the team. Maybe my reach isn't that far, but if there's one other self-conscious mother at the barn who sees me and my mom bod rocking riding clothes and starts to feel a little more confident to do the same, then it's worth it. I left sore and tired but I was elated. If you give your child attention you are not working hard enough and if you give your work all the attention you feel like you are neglecting your child. Was I selfish to want time to myself, to do something just because I wanted to do it? After all the build up and anxiety, I wish I could say the first time back in the saddle was this perfectly magical homecoming where everything simply clicked and I picked up exactly where I left off. And one thing was clear after my first day back: horses make me happy. Staying home with her, doing activities, cooking all her meals, and working.
Earlier in the process, I pulled out my old show boots, only to discover that I could barely zip them up halfway. A few weeks later, I found myself staring down the latest obstacle in my path: finding a pair of breeches for my postpartum body. This meant no play dates, no activities like story time at the library, no coffee dates with other moms while your kids play, or just going wherever we wanted without restrictions or worries. It brought postpartum depression and anxiety. Essentially, when you work on top of being a SAHM it's like having 2 jobs at once and it is a struggle over who to give attention to. My coworker is still here at 5 o'clock – I never leave work. As I continue down this journey to find myself again — as a rider and as a woman — I'm starting to notice things that I didn't see before.
My current horse is Duchess, and she's the first mare I've really developed a friendship with. Childcare was another contributing factor. Walking through the barn doors the first time made it clear to me how big the gulf had become from the rider I used to be and who I am today. As much as I love my family, I realize now that this is also a relationship I need in my life. Ultimately, I had to order a pair online, which was demoralizing. Setting foot in the tack shop for the first time was daunting as I skimmed past the smaller sizes I used to wear to look for a pair that fit. Well, when my baby sleeps, I work. While I have sent direct messages to companies asking when they are going to start representing plus-sized riders, I made an executive decision that I will be the representation. I was that girl who spent all day at the barn, constantly setting goals and preparing for the next show. A big part of the problem is until you are a mom and are actually in the thick of it, appreciating the hard work that goes into being a stay-at-home mom is difficult. Now, being out of the saddle for three years and without the prospect of blue ribbons and points, would everyone think I'm a waste of time? It has been great because it has given me a purpose other than being a mommy. It also brought changes to my body, which I am still learning to love and respect. Was it right to be away from my son?
…and you deserve a raise. It is income free hard work and now that I am in it, I appreciate it so much more. Just buying them was a task in itself. When I'm with her, even if I'm just hanging out brushing or mucking out her stall, I can feel my anxiety fade away. It's getting to enjoy every single moment with your kid while wanting to hide in your closet and have peace for two minutes. While she is cute, her incoherent babbling doesn't add a lot to conversation; It becomes very easy to get stuck in your own head talking to yourself.
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